Anti-Bullying Month

October just happens to be Anti-Bullying month and while I want to give you plenty of tips for your children I also wanted to take a moment to share this amazing video from YouTube.  Our children are reaching out and it's up to all of us.  The entire world at large to help them put an end to the torment.  Bullying is not acceptable, it is NOT part of growing up, and it needs to end now!  Stand up, take a stand, and help our children live in a more accepting society!




Tips to help your child before bullying begins:

• Know your child. Know their actions and movements and know if something is off.
• Talk to your child often and privately. One on one.
• Warn them early and give them the tools they need to get through it.
• Reinforce to them that they are loved and cherished JUST AS THEY ARE!
• Never doubt them. If they say someone is being mean they are being mean.
• LISTEN! When they come to you and say they need to talk turn off the computer, T.V., or iPhone and listen with both ears and your brain focused on their words.
• Give them an out. Give them someone else they can go to if they need help. A sibling, cousin, uncle, aunt, grandparent or family friend. Let this person know that they are the go to person and have direct communication with them.

Tips if your child is being bullied:

• Make sure it is actual bullying and not just someone being mean. Meaness happens. It is part of life but bullying is completely different. Meaness is words that may sting a bit but it happens only once. Bullying is a constant parade of insults, online comments that are damaging, theft of personal property, damage of personal property, and lastly physical violence.
• Give your child the information they need. Where to go if something happens, who they can talk to, and what you expect them to do.
• Practice their responses and give them that boost of confidence.
• A self defense class never hurt a single person.
• Tell them they are loved and cherished.
• Watch for signs of depression.
• GO TO THE SCHOOL! Don't call or email...get in there RIGHT AWAY! Do not wait to see if the bullying stops. Often times it only escalates!
• If the school will not help you go up the chain of command. Know the chain of command for your school system.
• Do not coddle them. As hard as it is your job right now is to lift your child up. Coddling will only increase their feelings of being belittled. Give them the tools to realize they are larger than they think!
• Lastly, most important in my book, share your stories. If you were bullied share that with your child. Share your emotions and how you dealt with it. It is better if they know they are not alone.

Tips if you believe your child is a bully:

• Be willing to see that in them.
• Do not dismiss parents, peers, or school complaints about your child's behavior.
• Speak to them. Be open and honest about your expectations.
• Teach compassion through volunteer work. Make them see the imperfections of our world!
• Seek counseling. Bullies often torment other children due to a lack of self esteem in themselves. They cannot find their self worth unless they tear others down.
• If you see a rise in physical aggression seek help immediately! Your child's physical aggression needs to be under control. They need to learn coping skills that do not include harming others.
• If your child is suspended for being a bully do not make those days holidays.
• The handwritten apology and formal verbal apologies are best. They have to see the pain they have caused others and they have to be given the opportunity to apologize.
• Recognize the bully in you. This is the hardest part but often it is found that bullies are themselves a victim of bullying. Either from an unaware parent or an older sibling. The knowledge of how to belittle someone came from somewhere and recognizing where is going to be the first step to recovery.